I’m not dead.
Or maybe I am, and someone has hacked my wordpress account and gone rogue.
Of course, posting on the site would draw attention to my untimely, and maybe unknown until this point, demise.
Well, I’m not dead.
I’d be lying if some days I didn’t feel that way.
A lot has happened since my last post (waaaaaay back in February).
A lot of interruptions. A lot of sadness. A lot of stress. A lot of change. All smashed up in about 30 days.
A lot can change in 30 days:
… You can think that your home is under contract and will sell … and then it doesn’t.
… You can think you have a wonderful job close to your home … and then your landlord gives you 30 days notice because he wants to try and sell the house.
… You can settle into a career path that you know will, in good time, give you the space to prepare for your dream … and then you get accepted into a life-changing academic program that may just ask you to give up that security.
… You move towards the last month of a year-long adventure into changing yourself … and then you see – in the thick of it – how much you might not have changed.
… You can be pregnant … and then you are not.
I have been absent – things this last 6 weeks or so have not been what I wanted them to be, but something else happened today:
The sun rose.
And while I know that there is no guarantee that it will, it did. Signalling the chance to take another day and beat out of it what I can for my good, the good of my family, and others around me. The sun doesn’t know about what yesterday was like. The sun just keeps doing what it was purposed to do, and it will keep doing that until it’s purpose is concluded.
I find peace in that. I think at times, it is one thing that I am pretty good at – and something that will occasionally drive Summer crazy. I am good at the mundane, the routine, the pattern of life, even in spite of the torrential storm around me. Alas, that is the thing about your purpose, dream, meaning – whatever you want to call it. It never stops. It never gives up. We may have trouble in seasons of our lives discovering what that purpose is, but it always, always finds a way to push itself into a new day. We, in our lesser selves, can stifle it, smother it, try to keep it from escaping – even so much that we don’t recognize it anymore.
But, the sun rises.
So … I am back on the wagon … or horse … or whatever euphemism you want to use there about getting back to the business of what you were built to be. As far as this blog, I hope in the next weeks to share with you some of my lessons from my 30th year, and what I plan to do with those lessons – and where this blog will go after that.
If you’re there, thanks for still being there, even through the drought!